


Time

by iliveinthemoon



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Developing Relationship, Flirting, Gen, Holding Hands, Homosexuality, Love, M/M, Post-Canon, Romance, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2020-12-16 11:41:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21035675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iliveinthemoon/pseuds/iliveinthemoon
Summary: The Crawley's are in London, which can only mean one thing for Thomas Barrow....... Richard Ellis.A story of their relationship over time.





	1. November 1927 part I

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story in the Downton Abbey fandom - eek!
> 
> This idea got stuck in my head and it simply won't get out so here it begins, I hope it's okay and not too much of a garbled mess. I'm not happy with some of the lines, but I think I might drive myself crazy if I keep messing with it, so it is what it is.
> 
> Rating might change, as will the tags.
> 
> I hope you like it :)

\---

There’s a knock on the back door and in the absence of Mr. Barrow, who is upstairs talking to his Lordship, Andy answers it.

‘Hello, I’m here to see Mr. Barrow.’ Richard Ellis states with a friendly smile. 

Andy knows who Mr. Ellis is. He’s the Royal valet who came to Downton four months ago for the King and Queen’s visit. He’s the one who everyone suspects helped Mr. Barrow get rid of the Royal footmen, not that Mr. Barrow ever confirmed it of course. He’s also the one who Andy thinks has been corresponding with Mr. Barrow ever since. 

‘Of course.’ Andy replies with a nod and a flash of a smile, stepping aside to allow the other man in, and out of the biting late November cold.

‘If you’d like to follow me Mr. Ellis.’ Andy closes the back door and slides past Mr. Ellis to lead the way.

For a moment he wonders if he should take Mr. Ellis to Mr. Barrow’s office, or if he should take him to the servants hall to wait while he goes and fetches the butler. In the end he chooses the servants hall, not wanting to get it in the neck from Mr. Barrow for leaving someone in his office unattended. Even if that someone is Mr. Ellis.

‘If you’d like to wait here while I go and fetch Mr. Barrow.’ Andy instructs and Mr. Ellis nods, a small smile on his lips.

Andy hurries from the room and down the corridor, almost colliding with Mr. and Mrs. Bates in his haste.

‘Careful Andy.’ Anna says as Andy grinds to a halt.

‘Where’s the fire?’ Mr. Bates snickers as Andy looks back towards the servants hall and then at the couple.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Where are you off to in such a hurry?’ Anna enquires, eyeing him carefully.

‘To fetch Mr. Barrow.’ Andy replies in hushed tones.

‘Why are you whispering?’ Mr. Bates asks, his brows furrowing with concern.

‘It isn’t anything bad is it Andy?’ Anna questions, her expression as worried as her husband’s.

‘Oh no. No. No nothing bad. Or at least I don’t think it is.’

‘Then what is it?’ Anna presses expectantly.

‘I don’t suppose either of you remember Mr. Ellis, the Royal valet from when the King and Queen stayed at Downton?’ Andy says, looking nervously around and he ducks his head a little to speak quietly.

‘Yes. I remember him.’ Mr. Bates replies and Anna nods in agreement.

‘Well, he’s here to see Mr. Barrow.’

Anna lets out a tiny scoff as she shakes her head, ‘And? Mr. Barrow is allowed friends you know. Honestly Andy.’

‘But I think he might be more than just a friend.’ Andy muses, forgetting that there’s a lady present as his gaze wanders off down the hall once more.

‘What makes you say that?’ Mr. Bates says before he shares a look with his wife.

‘Because-- because they’ve been writing to one another.’

‘Oh Andy, you shouldn’t gossip.’ Anna chuckles as she rolls her eyes, ‘now I suggest you go find Mr. Barrow to stop Mr. Ellis from waiting too long.’

‘I’m sure of it you know. I think he’s more than a friend. Mark my words that when Mr. Barrow sees him his whole face will light up, just like it does when he gets a letter in the post.’ Andy says before disappearing upstairs, leaving Mr. and Mrs. Bates laughing softly as they get on.

\---

Andy was absolutely right that Mr. Barrow’s entire face lit up at the sight of Mr. Ellis. In fact Mr. Barrow was even lost for words for a moment, simply staring at the other man, before realising that people were watching and he’d not said anything in greeting.

‘Would you like to come through to my office Mr. Ellis.’ Mr. Barrow mutters, feeling his cheeks begin to heat up as Richard nods, completely oblivious to the pointed look Andy gives Mr. and Mrs. Bates as they leave the room.

\---

Thomas quickly leads Richard to his office, and the moment the door is closed behind them Thomas finds himself pressed back against the door with Richard kissing him passionately.

‘I’ve been waiting four long months to do that.’ Richard whispers breathlessly, his hand cupping Thomas’s cheek and their foreheads pressed together.

‘Well I hope it was worth it?’ Thomas replies teasingly, a blush colouring his otherwise pale skin, as his hands hold the other man’s waist.

‘Most definitely.’ Richard grins wolfishly as he steps away.

‘So what are you doing here? I’ve only been in London a few hours.’ Thomas asks as he steps over to his desk and sits in the chair, while Richard takes the one on the opposite side.

‘I wanted to welcome you to London.’ Richard smirks and Thomas chuckles.

‘You’re daft, you know that.’ Thomas laughs, delight clear on his face.

‘And to ask if you could get tomorrow night off?’ Richard says hopefully.

‘They’re all dining at Lady Painswick’s tomorrow night so I don’t see why not. I’ll just clear it with his Lordship and I’m all yours.’ Thomas declares with a naughty twinkle in his eye

‘Great. Well that’s settled then. I’ll pick you up at 6.’ Richard declares, getting to his feet, quickly followed by Thomas.

The moment Thomas has rounded the desk again, Richard’s lips are on his once more, this time gentler, more tender, and it’s Thomas’s turn to affectionately caress Richard’s cheek while he holds onto him.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow Thomas.’ Richard whispers with a final peck before he’s pulling away and Thomas’s hand falls back to his side.

‘See you tomorrow Richard.’ Thomas says softly just before Richard pulls the door open, and with a glance over his shoulder and a cheeky wink he’s gone, striding down the passageway and out the back door, leaving Thomas grinning delirious to himself.

‘Is everything alright Mr. Barrow?’ Andy asks a few moments later as he pops his head round the doorframe.

‘Yes Andy. Everything is better than alright.’ Thomas answers from his chair, a far off look in his eyes and a dopey grin on his face as he shuffles the papers on his desk in pretence of doing his work, while Andy steps away with a knowing, happy smile on his face.

\---


	2. November part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The response to the first chapter blew me away, I was not expecting that. So a big thank you to everyone who left a comment or a kudos, I'm amazed.
> 
> Now I must admit that I've struggled with this chapter - it's taken on several forms but I'm most satisfied with this version and I do hope you all like it and aren't too disappointed.
> 
> Thank you :)

\---

'I hope you have a good evening Mr. Barrow.' Andy offers with a smile as Thomas steps into the servants Hall, hands nervously toying with his hat.

'Thank you Andy.' Thomas replies with as smile, both touched and surprised that he cares.

He'd not told anyone that's he's going out with Mr. Ellis, he wouldn't dare, but he has told them that he is going out for the evening.

‘You look very handsome.’ Miss. Baxter smiles affectionately from her place at the table where she’s sewing.

Thomas smiles bashfully at the compliment. They never come easily to him, mainly because they are hardly ever directed at him, or if they are they’re usually followed by an insult.

‘Thank you Miss. Baxter.’ He replies, remembering his manners.

‘Are you off out Mr. Barrow?’ Mrs. Hughes enquires as she steps into the doorway.

‘I am Mrs. Hughes.’

‘Well, we best not keep you. I’m sure you’ve got plans.’ She says, and if he weren’t mistaken, there appears to be affection in her eyes as she gives him two pats on the forearm.

‘Right you are.’ Thomas nods, nerves fluttering in his stomach, this is all so new and exciting to him. He’s never been on a date before, assuming that this is one of those.

‘Good night.’ He adds as a sort of afterthought before ducking out the door, down the passageway and out the backdoor in hurried, somewhat impatient steps.

He’s out on the street in a flash, finding Richard already waiting in the shadows on the opposite side, not wanting to draw any attention to himself, especially given the upper class location.

Thomas walks over to him, giving him what he hopes is his best devilish smile in greeting. Having to resist the urge to just kiss him, out there in the street, with all those windows and prying eyes around them.

‘Good evening Mr. Barrow.’ Richard gives him a slight nod, a smirk on his lips.

‘Good evening Mr. Ellis.’ Thomas grins.

‘I’m sorry I’m late.’ Richard apologises, looking guilty.

‘Not to worry. You’re here now.’ Thomas replies, giving him a reassuring smile.

Richard had telegrammed him earlier that day to say that he wouldn’t make six o’clock, and would have to push back their meeting time to seven o’clock.

‘So, where is it we’re going?’ Thomas enquires as they head away from Grantham House.

‘I thought we could go for dinner.’ Richard says quietly yet confidently.

‘Dinner? I’d like that.’ Thomas genuinely smiles and Richard brushes the back of his gloved hand against Thomas’s with their little fingers interlock for the briefest of seconds in a touching gesture.

\---

It takes less than half an hour for them to walk to the venue for their dinner date in Soho, a small Italian restaurant called Giuseppe’s down a side street just off Shaftesbury Avenue.

‘Have you ever had Italian Mr. Barrow?’

‘Do you really think Mrs. Patmore would cook fancy foreign meals for the servants?’ Thomas chuckles and Richard smirks.

‘I’ll take that as a no then.’

‘I think you best had.’

‘Well not to worry, there are a few dishes I can recommend.’

‘Oh, so you come here often do you?’ Thomas jests playfully, but also desperate to know if he’s the latest in a long line of men wooed by the handsome Richard Ellis in this manner.

‘Always alone Mr. Barrow. Always alone.’ Richard replies softly, and Thomas gives him a small understanding smile as they step inside the restaurant and out of the cold.

\---

‘You don’t have to be so nervous.’ Richard says when he notices that Thomas keeps glancing around, twitching and shifting nervously after they’re shown to their table near the back, coats, hats, scarves and gloves left on a coat stand.

‘Sorry. I guess I’m just not used to _this_.’ He gestures subtly between the two of them.

‘Well I suggest you do get used to _this_, because I hope there will be many more.’ Richard grins looking straight at Thomas, his eyes full of affection and Thomas can’t help but smile in return, feeling all sorts of happiness.

‘Oh, and you can order whatever you want. This is on me.’ Richard adds, but Thomas isn’t about to let Richard foot the bill on his own.

‘But-’

‘Thomas, I asked you to join me so it’s only right that I pick up the bill.’

‘Fine. But I’m paying next time.’ He states firmly and Richard smiles and nods.

A waiter comes over with some water and a small basket of warm crusty bread and takes their orders - all of which was decided by Richard, but Thomas doesn’t mind, he quite enjoys someone else taking control for a change.

A couple of moments later the waiter returns with their drinks before scrambling off and leaving them alone.

‘I’m glad you’re here.’ Richard announces softly after a sip of beer.

‘I’m glad you asked.’

‘When you sent the telegram to say that you’d be in London, I just knew that I had to see you.’

Thomas smiles softly, feeling such affection for the other man.

‘I did consider not telling you and just turning up at the Palace without warning, but I didn’t quite fancy being arrested again.’ Thomas admits, feeling a faint blush grace his cheeks.

‘Hmmmm, well I don’t know if I’d have been able to bail you out this time if you had.’ Richard teases as he sips his beer and Thomas lets out a small chuckle, even if inside he cringes at the memories of his arrest and what Richard risked to get him out.

They sit in silence, but it’s not awkward or a heavy silence, no it’s a comfortable, peaceful silence. One full of little glances, flirty smiles and knowing looks.

‘Can I ask you a question?’ Thomas says quietly after a few moments, leaning forward a little, fingers on his good hand fiddling with the stem of the water glass.

‘Go on.’ Richard replies, eyes sparkling with intrigue.

Thomas takes a deep breath, eyes flitting up to meet Richard’s and then away again.

‘Thomas.’

‘Were you angry with me? For leaving the pub with another man?’ He asks quickly, chewing on the corner of his bottom lip as he forces himself to look Richard in the eyes.

It’s a question that has played on his mind ever since that night, and while he’d been too scared of the answer at the time, over the course of the past four months, where they’ve corresponded and gotten to know one another better, he feels that it’s only now that he can hear the answer.

Richard inhales, taking a moment to think and Thomas bites his tongue with worry. He shouldn’t have asked. He’s so stupid sometimes. He never knows when he’s onto a good thing, he always makes a mess, puts his foot in it. Does something wrong.

‘I wasn’t angry. More disappointed.’ Richard admits and Thomas’s shoulders slump at his confession.

‘Disappointed that you thought I wasn’t going to show up.’ Richard adds.

‘I’m sorry. I should have trusted your word, but… but-’

‘Thomas you don’t need to explain. It’s in the past.’ Richard interrupts, reaching across the table and covering Thomas’s hand with his own and giving it a squeeze.

Thomas feels all the air in his lungs escape, as he stares down at their hands, feeling the warmth of Richard’s skin, his calloused fingertips, and the gentle, loving caress of his thumb.

‘What about to being circumspect Mr. Ellis?’ Thomas croaks a whisper, gulping heavily as tears burn the backs of his eyes, he’s never felt this sense of affection, and certainly not in public.

‘I find when I’m with you I lose all sense of myself.’ Richard murmurs, his voice hitching with emotion and it’s quite possibly the most romantic thing that anyone has ever said to him.

‘Richard-’

But Richard quickly pulls his hand away when he sees the waiter walking over with their meals out of the corner of his eye and coughs to regain his composure. Thomas lets out a shaky breath as the waiter places their plates down in front of them, and if he notices anything between the two men, he doesn’t say, instead he simply wishes them a good meal.

They both selected lasagne and Richard watches anxiously as Thomas cuts himself a forkful and pops it into his mouth. His eyes light up and a closed mouth smile spreads across his face as he chews.

‘It’s delicious.’ He declares after swallowing the morsel and Richard visibly relaxes, clearly relieved that Thomas is thus far enjoying his meal.

\---

With their main dishes quickly devoured in happy, contented silence, and their plates cleared they’re just waiting on their desserts - again both of them going for the same thing - Tiramisu.

The waiter returns a short while later with their plates of dessert and again Thomas is delighted with the dish, eating hungrily, and soon clearing his plate.

‘That was excellent. Thank you.’ Thomas states as he places his fork onto the empty plate.

‘That’s good. I’m pleased you enjoyed it.’ Richard states, waving for the waiter as he fishes out his wallet from his inside pocket.

\---

Once Richard’s paid the bill, they’re soon back out on the freezing November street.

‘So, where now?’ Thomas enquires as flips up the collar of his coat to try and stave off some of the cold.

‘I thought we might take a walk.’ Richard suggests, pulling his own collar up to match Thomas’s.

‘Alright. A walk.’ Thomas smiles and they set off.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> Unbeta'd


	3. November part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the love shown this story <3 
> 
> Elements of this are probably historically inaccurate but hey it's fiction right.

\---

Thomas and Richard make their way along Shaftesbury Avenue, heading back in the direction of Grantham House and Buckingham Palace, keeping a quick pace in a bid to stave off the cold.

Soon they find themselves in Piccadilly Square, which despite the chilly November night there are a few people milling about.

‘Do you fancy a quick drink?’ Thomas asks, nodding towards The Criterion.

‘It’s on me.’ Thomas adds with a cheeky smile.

‘Alright,’ Richard agrees, ‘but just the one, this place isn’t cheap.’

They go inside and despite the weather it’s busy which is no surprise given that The Criterion is a stone's throw from Piccadilly Circus underground station.

Thomas leans against the bar top, ‘what do you fancy?’ he asks Richard, looking over his shoulder, a smile on his lips.

‘What? Other than you?’ Richard retorts playfully, enjoying how Thomas’s eyes widen at his words, glancing around to check if anyone else heard.

‘Why don’t you surprise me, while I go find a table.’ Richard relents as Thomas flounders for words.

‘Alright.’ Thomas agrees, feeling like he’s blushing like a schoolgirl, especially when Richard winks at him before sauntering off.

He watches Richard walk, having a sneaky little look at his bum in his smart fitted trousers. Thomas has to suppress the grin from his lips and remembers where he is, and that he's surrounded by people sitting he turns back to face the bar and picks up the cocktail menu.

He stands there pondering the choices for a good few minutes, trying to decide exactly what drink says Richard Ellis, Royal valet to him.

‘Good evening sir, what can I get you?’ The bartender asks and Thomas takes a breath, entirely unsure.

\---

‘So, what have I got?’ Richard grins as Thomas places the tray containing two delicious looking drinks down on the small table.

‘You tell me.’ Thomas flirts as he offers Richard the clear drink with a lime at the top.

Richard grins as he accepts the drink and Thomas bites his bottom lip as he watches him take a sip.

‘A gin rickey.’ Richard guesses, a smile still on his face.

‘Do you like it? I’m sorry it’s not anything fancier. We don’t really do cocktails at Downton. Mr. Carson wasn’t a fan.’ Thomas says nervously.

‘It’s my favourite cocktail actually. So yes, you did chose well. As for the cocktails at Downton I thought you were the butler, not Mr. Carson. Besides since when did the butler decide what the family drink anyway?’ Richard quirks an eyebrow as he gives Thomas a pointed look, at which he smiles bashfully.

‘Now what’s your cocktail?’

‘A mint julep.’ Thomas says before taking a sip, eyebrows rising slightly at how tasty and refreshing it is. ‘It’s good. I like it.’

‘Cheers.’ Richard grins and they clink their glasses together, eyes locked together, lost in a world of their own.

\---

‘We should get going.’ Richard declares shortly after they’ve finished their drinks, which they drank fairly slowly, just sitting there, soaking up the atmosphere, and watching the world go by. Happy to just be in each other’s company, idly chit-chatting.

Thomas agrees and they make their way through the bar to leave. On their way out Thomas notices that there are a fair number of men together. Men sitting closely, some resting a hand on the other’s thigh, others discreetly brushing hands together, and even one young couple snuggled together in a corner, seemingly without a care in the world.

‘How can they be so obvious?’ Thomas gasps, once they’re back outside as he pulls on his leather gloves.

‘This is London Mr. Barrow. Many things carry on here. But that’s not to say that there’s no threat hanging over their heads, that someone won’t report them. Sometimes they’re just more willing to throw caution to the wind I guess.’ Richard explains as they continue on their way back to Grantham House.

‘Wouldn’t that be nice. To be able to throw caution to the wind?’ Thomas muses forlornly and Richard turns his head to look at the other man, oh how he aches to reach out and grab his hand, to wrap his arm around his shoulders, to kiss him for the world to see. To show Thomas Barrow all the love and affection he deserves, and has clearly been lacking.

‘One day Thomas. One day we’ll be able to do that. One day we’ll be able to hold hands in public and no-one will bat an eye, mark my words.’

‘One day perhaps, but I don’t think it’ll ever be in our lifetime.’ Thomas replies sadly, a sorrow reflected in the look in his eyes.

Richard just can’t not comfort him, so he reaches for Thomas’s gloved hand and gives a brief yet affirmative squeeze, bringing a warm smile of Thomas’s face.

\---

They continue on in silence, a slow, reluctant walk. Neither of them want the night to end, for them to be parted. It’s incredible how close they’ve become in such a short space of time, and all thanks to their frequent letters.

At first it was just a polite letter a week, very formal, all but devoid of personal talk. Then a couple of correspondences a week with tentative private chat. And now it’s a letter every other day, often full of as much personal information and as many feelings they can risk given their positions and genders.

Unfortunately their slow walk doesn’t stop the inevitable and they soon find themselves in St James’s Square.

‘I suppose we should say goodnight now?’ Thomas mutters, trying to put on a brave face, even if he just wants to grab hold of Richard and never let him go, as they carry on walking over to Grantham House.

‘I guess so.’ Richard sighs, coming to a stop when they find themselves standing by the metal gate down to the servants entrance.

‘I had a wonderful evening. Thank you.’ Thomas says, and he really does mean it.

‘I’m glad, because I did too.’ Richard answers softly, standing achingly close that Thomas can feel the heat radiating from the man, and the smell of his cologne is intoxicating.

They stand there silently for a minute or two before Thomas lets out a gentle chuckle and Richard huffs with a shake of his head.

‘It appears I don’t want to leave quite yet.’ Richard admits, looking a little unsure of himself as he smiles shyly.

‘Come with me.’ Thomas blurts urgently, eyes flitting all around them before he’s pushing the gate open and rushing down the steps.

Richard’s brows pull together in puzzlement for a moment before he’s hurrying after him, intrigue in his eyes. The moment his feet are off the bottom step he’s pushed against the wall with Thomas’s lips on his, kissing him so passionately that he’s lost for thought. So he just melts into it, hands coming up to grip Thomas by the coat at the waist, not even registering the cold seeping in through his own coat against the wall, or that both of their hats have tumbled from their heads and are now lying on the ground.

After what feels like a lifetime, but is most likely only a minute or so, Thomas pulls back, breathing heavily, cool leather gloves cupping Richard’s face.

‘I’ve wanted to do that all evening.’ He confesses airily and Richard gives a boyish half smile.

‘I’m glad you finally did.’

Now it’s Richard’s turn. He leans in and kisses Thomas. It’s slow and gentle, almost like they have all the time in the world, and it makes Thomas weak at the knees.

He could do this forever, being kissed by Richard Ellis. It's the most perfect and wonderful thing in the whole entire world. But eventually Richard pulls back, breathing heavily. They stand there staring at one another, lips kiss swollen and eyes wide.

‘I should go.’ Richard whispers, fingers clinging to Thomas’s coat, reluctant to leave.

‘I wish you wouldn’t.’ Thomas pouts, not caring that he sounds needy, because that’s exactly what he is - needy. Needy for love and affection. Needy for Richard.

‘Thomas.’ Richard sighs. He doesn’t want to leave either, but he has to. One of them needs to be rational.

Richard lifts his hand to cup Thomas’s jaw, his heart breaking as Thomas leans into it, craving the intimacy.

‘I have to go. I’m sorry.’ Richard murmurs, his thumb lightly stroking Thomas’s cold cheek, tinged with a slight flush, either from the cold or from their amorous actions, he’s not sure.

Thomas exhales slowly, his eyes drifting close while he braces himself. Opening when he inhales deeply. He gives an affirmative nod.

‘Right.’ He croaks despite trying to remain steadfast.

‘I’ll try and see you again before you go, okay?’

Thomas nods, a small forced smile on his lips, he knows that the chances of that are unlikely and he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, he needs to be realistic.

Richard leans in and they share a tender, lingering kiss.

‘Goodnight Thomas.’

‘Goodnight Richard.’

Quickly Richard scoops up his hat, then hurries up the steps and through the gate as Thomas follows after him in order to lock up. He watches from behind the railings as Richard crosses the street and looks back over his shoulder, a smile on his lips as he tips his hat to Thomas, before disappearing into the night.

Thomas gives himself a moment before stepping back through the gate and locking it, then heading down the steps, returning to Mr. Barrow the butler, a man devoid of a personal life, let alone a love life.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd
> 
> All mistakes are my own


	4. November part IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the support shown to this story, for all the kudos' and comments.
> 
> This story was originally going to end here and the next part was going to be a new part of a series, but I've changed my mind and decided that rather than make it into a series I will just continue here but the story will have a new title. I hope no-one minds.

\---

‘Andy, can you finish checking the luggage off please.’ Thomas says, handing Andy the clipboard and pen, seemingly distracted.

‘Of course Mr. Barrow.’ Andy replies brightly, accepting the items as Thomas hurries off.

Andy watches him as he goes through the gate and down the steps, disappearing out of sight, wondering what could be distracting him.

‘Is Mr. Barrow alright Andy?’ Mrs. Hughes startles him a little as she steps in next to him.

‘I believe so Mrs. Hughes. Perhaps he just forgot something.’ Andy suggests as Mrs. Hughes looks towards the gate with concern in her eyes.

‘Perhaps.’ Mrs. Hughes murmurs, before being drawn away by one of the maids.

\---

In truth Thomas hadn’t forgotten anything. He’d packed his bag the night before and checked it twice before taking it downstairs to be loaded. His room is clear of the few possessions he’d brought down with him, as is the butler’s pantry.

The problem is that they’re leaving earlier than he’d thought. He’d told Richard that they would be leaving early afternoon, not mid morning like they are now. It means they’re leaving without them being able to say goodbye in person.

He pulls Richard’s card from the inside pocket of his jacket and sighs heavily, trying to decide if he should call Richard or not. His mind is racing with thoughts, none of them helpful. What if Richard isn’t there? What if Richard doesn’t answer? What if someone else does? How does he explain who he is and why he wants to speak to Richard?

They’d not spoken on the telephone yet. All their communications have been in person, by letter or telegram, and he hasn’t even got time for that. Not when they’re leaving in less than an hour.

But despite all his doubts he needs to let Richard know that he’s leaving soon. Otherwise he’ll be turning up at Grantham House and finding it all locked up and empty.

Thomas takes a deep breath, back straightening as he exhales and reaches for the phone. He lifts the receiver to his ear and the base closer to his mouth, hearing a woman greet him.

‘Hello, this is Mr. Barrow from Grantham House, I’d like to be connected to a Mr. Ellis at Buckingham Palace, please.’ He says clearly and confidently, well apart from the slight hitch in his voice at the name of the Royal residence.

The woman replies and Thomas provides the telephone number on the card, thanking her when she says that she’ll try to connect the call.

Thomas sits there nervously as he listens to the ringing through the receiver into his ear.

‘Hello, Mr. Ellis speaking.’ 

Thomas’s whole body relaxes at the sound of Richard’s voice, a breath escaping him that he’d not realised he’d been holding.

‘Richard?’

‘Thomas. It’s good to hear from you.’ Richard replies and Thomas can’t help but smile to himself.

‘Yes, it’s good to hear your voi- from you too. I’m just calling to let you know that I’ll be leaving in fifteen minutes, and not this afternoon as previously planned.’ Thomas explains formally because they have to, who knows who might be listening.

‘Oh. Right.’ Richard mumbles sadly, and Thomas wants nothing more right now than to pull him into his arms and give him a hug.

‘I’m sorry.’ Thomas mutters, feeling all deflated.

‘Well, there’s nothing to be done about it.’ Richard answers with a sigh.

‘So I would say that this is goodbye then, until we meet again.’ Thomas tries to sound somewhat positive.

‘Yes. Until we meet again.’

‘Goodbye Mr. Ellis. It was very nice seeing you again.’

‘You too Mr. Barrow.’ Richard says and Thomas knows that it’s time to end the call, but he just can’t bring himself to do it just yet, wanting to simply hear Richard breath.

‘Goodbye Thomas.’ Richard eventually whispers and before he can reply the line goes dead, leaving Thomas bereft. 

\---

Richard’s gift is sat in the palm of his hand, resting on his thigh. Thomas gazes down at the silver pendant, a sad, longing smile on his face.

There’s a knock on the door and his head darts up, finding Mrs. Hughes standing there.

‘It’s nearly time to go Mr. Barrow.’ She informs him and he replies with a nod.

‘Thank you Mrs. Hughes.’ 

She gives him a small smile before turning on her heels and hurrying off, no doubt making a final check that all the rooms are clean and tidy.

Thomas slips the pendant back into his pocket, patting it in reassurance, before rising to his feet. He inhales with his head held high and breathes out as he rounds the desk, picking up the keys to the house as he goes, heading for the door.

‘Richard!’ Thomas gasps with a jolt, jumping back as the keys clatter to the floor. 

‘I couldn’t let you leave without a proper goodbye.’ Richard pants, all flush and flustered, stepping into the pantry and closing the door behind him.

A delighted grin quickly spreads across Thomas’s face, awestruck at the rather romantic gesture, but mostly from surprise.

‘You didn’t run here did you?’ Thomas teases as the two men get closer.

‘What do you think?’ Richard replies, grabbing Thomas’s lapels and pulling him forward so their lips connect in a kiss.

\---

Upstairs out on the street Andy is smiling to himself having discreetly directed Mr. Ellis to the butler’s pantry, with a slight nod of his head while everyone else was busy.

‘What are you smiling at Andy?’ Anna enquires as she steps in next to the young man.

Andy glances around, making sure no one is around to hear them.

‘Mr. Ellis has just turned up. It looked like he’d run here.’ Andy whispers, a happy smile tugging at his lips.

‘Well that’s nice of him, to come and say goodbye to Mr. Barrow in person.’ She smirks slightly, a naughty, playful twinkle in her eyes as Andy nods in agreement.

\---

Back downstairs in the butler’s pantry Thomas and Richard are still locked in their passionate embrace, lips moving hungrily against one another and hands clinging tightly, not wanting to let the other go.

Mrs. Hughes walks down the corridor checking the remaining rooms, locking the doors behind her. She arrives at the door to the butler’s pantry and her hand moves towards the doorknob but then she hesitates, but she’s not sure why. Instead she knocks and says loudly, ‘Mr. Barrow we’re leaving.’

‘Thank you Mrs. Hughes,’ comes the croaked reply from the other side of the door.

She cocks an eyebrow at the sound of muffled voices and shuffling feet. A sad sigh falls from her lips as she walks off. She feels sorry for Thomas. Sorry that he has to live his life in stolen moments behind closed doors. But she’s happy for him as well. Happy that he’s apparently found someone. Someone, she hopes, loves him in a way no one else ever has, or ever will.

Meanwhile inside the room, ‘I guess this really is goodbye then?’ Thomas murmurs quietly, blushing profusely.

‘I’m afraid so.’ Richard replies sadly, gently brushing Thomas’s cheek with his thumb.

‘Well, I had a wonderful time with you. Thank you.’ Thomas smiles softly, eyes brimming with affection.

‘It was my pleasure. And I really do hope to see you again soon.’

‘As do I.’

‘Goodbye Thomas. Safe travels.’ Richard says before they share a final kiss goodbye.

‘Goodbye Richard.’ Thomas whispers as Richard squeezes his good hand before stepping away.

\---

Out of the corner of Andy’s eye he spots Mr. Ellis cautiously creeping up the steps from the servants entrance, and knowing of the need for discretion his relationship with Mr. Barrow requires, he very quickly decides to create a diversion in order for Mr. Ellis to slip away unseen.

He doubles over, gripping his stomach and groaning in fake pain, drawing everyone’s attention, the ladies quickly fussing with concern. He turns his head slightly and sees Mr. Ellis rushing out onto the street and across the road.

‘What’s going on here? Andy, are you alright?’ Mr. Barrow asks as he steps over to the huddled group.

Andy straightens, seeing a flush high on Mr. Barrow’s cheeks and nods, ‘just a sudden sharp pain, Mr. Barrow. But it’s gone now.’

‘Good. But you might want to get that checked out with Dr. Clarkson when we get back to Downton.’ Thomas replies as the small group remains around Andy.

‘Come alone everyone, we’ve got a train to catch.’ Thomas announces and they all step away.

Thomas places a hand on Andy’s shoulder and leans in a fraction, ‘thank you,’ he whispers and Andy gives a slight nod in acknowledgment.

\---

With everyone loaded into the cars they set off for the train station, with Thomas and Mrs. Hughes sat in the front of the Earl’s car. As they turn a corner Thomas sees Richard standing on the pavement. The Royal valet tips his hat with a sly wink as the car drives past and a secret smile forms on Thomas’s lips, causing him to duck his head, but Mrs. Hughes catches it.

Thomas knows in his heart of hearts that he and Richard will see each other again. Of that he can be certain.

\---


	5. December 1927/January 1928

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely happy with this one, sorry about that. I also apologise if it is all disjointed. I wanted to do something slightly different with the start and I apologise if it's not paid off.
> 
> Thank you for the loving support shown this fic, it means a lot <3

\---  
_….._

_Your friend_

_T. Barrow_

_p.s. what do you do for New Year?_

\---

**My dear T,**

**New Year is normally spent with my parents, although midnight is a far quieter affair given their inability to stay awake beyond 10pm, so it is always spent alone wishing myself a happy new year with one of my father’s slightly warm beers.**

**What of yours? Is it spent with your family or at DA?**

**…….**

\---

_Dearest R,_

_New Year’s Eve is normally spent at DA, we have a toast with the family and then another downstairs. But this year the family will be away for a few days, so we’ll be left to our own celebrations. Yours sounds, for the want of a better word, dull. Perhaps you should join me here at DA._

_….._

\---

**…..**

Yours,

R. Ellis

p.s. If your offer is a serious one, I’d more than welcome the invitation to join you for New Year’s Eve at DA.

\---

_Dearest R,_

_Of course my invitation is a serious one. I couldn’t think of anyone else I’d soon welcome the New Year in with._

_…._

\---

That morning the entire Crawley family - including the Dowager Countess, the children (and nannies), Tom Branson, Lord and Lady Merton, Lady Bagshaw and Miss. Lucy Smith - had headed to Brancaster Castle to attend the New Year’s celebrations of the Marquess and Marchioness of Hexham, giving their staff three days off. Only Miss. Denker travelled with the family on the insistence of the Dowager, who found the idea of having no lady's maid preprosperous.

There’s a knock at the back door and Thomas hears footsteps hurrying to answer it, before he even has a chance to rise from his seat.

‘Hello Mr. Ellis.’ Andy says, loudly, no doubt for Thomas’s benefit, as he steps aside and let’s the Royal valet inside, out of the bitter cold night.

Thomas rises from his chair as he hears pleasantries being exchanged. He rounds his desk, doing up a couple of buttons on his jacket and heads out into the passageway.

‘Good evening Mr. Ellis.’ Thomas says, trying to keep his smile formal rather than soppy.

‘Hello Mr. Barrow.’ Richard smiles warmly as he takes off his hat.

When Thomas had informed the staff at breakfast that Mr. Ellis would be joining them for their New Year’s Eve celebrations, he’d expected a barrage of questions, but was pleasantly surprised when none came, just a few knowing looks cast in his direction he chose to ignore.

‘How was your journey?’ Thomas enquires as Andy passes him by, a slight smirk on his lips and glint in his eyes.

‘It was comfortable enough.’ Richard answers as Thomas gestures towards the butler's pantry before heading inside, quickly followed by Richard, who closes the door behind him.

'Hello Thomas.' Richard smiles softly, his voice barely above a whisper as he steps forward, pulling the other man into a longed for embrace, suitcase discarded along with his hat by the door.

'Hello Richard.' Thomas murmurs, a bashful expression on his face as he buries his face into Richard's shoulder, breathing him in.

He smells like cold and fresh air, mixed with expensive cologne. It's quite intoxicating.

\---

'So, Mr. Ellis has just arrived. You should have seen the smile on Mr. Barrow’s face.' Andy says in a hushed tone as he takes a seat in the servants hall alongside Mr. Bates, Anna and Miss. Baxter.

‘I imagine it was much like the one you display when Daisy is around.’ Mr. Bates snickers with a smirk, his comment causing Andy to blush and his mouth to clamp shut.

\---

'We really should go and join the others, otherwise I'll be accused of keeping you all to myself.' Thomas grins, straightening his jacket, a blush high on his cheekbones.

'Now we wouldn't want that would we.' Richard teases with is own grin, while correcting his jacket that had become dishevelled thanks to their more passionate greeting.

After their initial embrace Richard had removed his coat, scarf and gloves and hung them on a coat hook as if they belong there. It sent a pang of sorrow through Thomas’s heart of something that will never be.

\---

'Hello Mr. Ellis. What is it you're doing here? I'd have thought you'd be with their Royal Highnesses at this time of the year.' Mr. Carson states as Richard follows Thomas into the servants hall. Clearly not everyone knew of Richard’s attendance.

‘Their Royal Highnesses allow us a few days off to visit family to see in the new year.’ Mr. Ellis replies politely.

‘Then why, may I ask, are you here?’ Mr. Carson simply cannot stop himself, as if he were still the butler.

'Leave him alone. Mr. Ellis is welcome to be here, just like you.' Mrs. Hughes huffs with a slight eye roll.

'I was given permission to attend by his Lordship-' Mr. Carson begins to inform his wife.

'Charlie!' Mrs. Hughes interrupts with exasperation.

‘For your information Mr. Carson, his Lordship gave Mr. Ellis permission as well.’ Thomas adds a little smugly, looking at his predecessor while Mrs. Hughes tuts at the pair of them as Mr. Carson harrumps with annoyance.

'Come now Mr. Ellis, I’ll show you to your room.' Mrs. Hughes states, not interested in the posturing of the former and current butlers.

'Of course Mrs. Hughes.' Richard answers politely, his small suitcase in hand as he follows the housekeeper to the stairs.

\---

'It's nice of Mr. Ellis to visit.' Miss. Baxter murmurs for Thomas's ears only as everyone chats amongst themselves, while he writes up the events of the day.

Thomas doesn't say anything, so she continues, 'I'm happy that you've found someone. Truly I am.' She tells him sincerely, a gentle, loving hand resting on his forearm and their eyes meet, genuine affection in them.

‘Thank you.’ He whispers with a small smile before she steps over to talk to Mr. Molesley - who’d been invited, alongside Mr. Carson and Mr. Mason.

\---

‘I’m sorry about Mr. Carson and his rather frosty reception.’ Mrs. Hughes apologises as she and Richard climb the stairs towards the attic.

‘You don’t need to apologise, Mrs. Hughes. I guess it was a fair question. I am a stranger after all.’ Richard replies softly.

‘Everyone’s a stranger at some point. Even Mr. Carson.’ She intones before deciding not to say anything further on the matter.

\---

The clock is ticking ever closer to midnight, and the atmosphere in the servants hall is jovial, with happy chatter amongst the staff, while the gramophone which Lord Grantham had lent them, quietly plays a jazz record in the background. Thomas is circulating the room, making sure that everyone’s drinks are topped up.

Richard is at the heart of the conversation, and the centre of the table. And it warms his heart that everyone seems so taken by him, but it's tinged with sadness too, that despite all of the effort on his part he'll never be the person everyone wants to engage with.

'What must it be like, touching the King. The King of England. Those hands have touched the royal person. The royal body.' Mr. Moseley chuckles in bewilderment, a soppy look on his face as he gestures towards Richard’s hands.

Richard simply smiles good naturedly, eyes flitting up to meet Thomas’s, his smile turning a little more genuine. He feels bad for Richard, given the way Mr. Molesley is asking endless questions about life as a royal servant. But Richard handles him impeccably, with a tolerance Thomas could only dream of.

‘Really Mr. Molesley. Talking of the King in such a manner. What’s the matter with you?’ Mr. Carson huffs at his impertinence at such a topic.

‘I’m sorry Mr. Carson, but-’

A raised eyebrow and a pointed glare from the retired butler silences Mr. Molesley.

‘It’s almost time,’ Mrs. Hughes states, pushing her chair back and getting to her feet, ‘come on, up you all get.’

Everyone joins her on their feet, happiness emitting around the room as the year draws to its conclusion. Thomas makes sure that he’s standing next to Richard, their free hands discreetly brushing together and their index fingers briefly interlocking as the clock chimes at midnight.

‘Happy New Year.’ Thomas declares proudly, quickly joined by everyone else, before they break out into a rendition of auld lang syne.

Once done they all start to chatter amongst themselves about what their hopes are for the new year.

‘So, what are your hopes for the new year Mr. Barrow?’ Richard murmurs, giving Thomas what could be called a flirtatious look.

‘Oh you know. Good health, continued employment. Happiness.’ Thomas replies with a soft smile. ‘What about you Mr. Ellis?’

‘The same. Maybe with some romance thrown in for good measure.’ Richard answers lowly, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Thomas looks down bashfully, trying to keep the beaming smile on his face out of view of the others, there are some things they don’t need to see. When he looks back up he finds Richard looking around the room before settling back on Thomas’s face, a tiny smile on his lips, but his eyes are no longer shining with mischief, instead there’s a sad longing, and when Thomas quickly looks around he understands why.

Everyone around them is coupled off. Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. Mr and Mrs. Bates. Andy and Daisy. Mr. Molesley and Miss. Baxter. Mrs. Patmore and Mr. Mason, even Albert is coupled off with the young housemaid May. But perhaps what’s worse is that all of them are sharing tender moments, affectionate glances or sweet kisses (on the cheeks or lips, depending on the coupling), and that is something neither of them can openly have.

Thomas’s heart pangs with jealousy. Jealous that they can all show their affections, but he and Richard can’t. That if they show any love or fondness towards one another then they could end up in prison. The world can be so cruel.

\---

It’s not long before everyone bids goodnight with only Thomas and Richard left. Thomas turns the lights off to the kitchen and the servants hall before heading into the butler’s pantry to find Richard sat at his desk, in his chair.

‘It suits you.’ He chuckles pushing the door closed behind him.

‘Hmmmmm I dunno, I don’t think I fancy being a butler much.’ Richard answers as Thomas approaches him.

‘No? You don’t fancy being Royal Page of the Backstairs then?’ Thomas purrs with a naughty smirk as he leans forward, hands gripping the arms of the chair, their faces so close.

‘Oh no. I couldn’t be that uptight.’ Richard snickers, eyes lingering on Thomas’s lips, before they come together in a slow, passionate kiss.

Eventually they break apart, the awkward angle proving too much. Their eyes are brimming with lust, their chests heaving with desire and their lips swollen with kisses.

‘Richard.’ Thomas whimpers airily, his mouth still achingly close.

‘We shouldn’t. Not here.’ Richard whispers, cupping Thomas’s face.

‘Then where?’ Thomas murmurs, disappointment filling his eyes.

‘Tonight. Come with me to London later.’ Richard suggests, voice full of hope.

‘I can’t. I can’t just hop on a train and go to London.’ Thomas sighs, stepping back and running a hand through his perfect hair, disturbing it.

‘Why not?’ Richard asks, getting to his feet, ‘you can come with me and be back tomorrow evening.’ He pleads, following Thomas around the desk and taking hold of his hands.

‘But-’

‘But what? The Crawley's are away until Tuesday. And everyone else can cope without you for one day. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, Thomas. Live for yourself every now and again.’ Richard states impassioned, looking Thomas dead in the eyes.

‘Let me know in the morning.’ Richard adds, before he presses a kiss to the butler’s cheek and murmurs, ‘goodnight Thomas. Happy new year.’

He's gone before Thomas even gets a chance to reply.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> Let me know your thoughts.


	6. January 1928 pt I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was never going to be easy, was it?
> 
> Thank you for the continued support ❤️

\---

‘Richard. Richard wait, please.’ Thomas hurries out of the pantry and to the foot of the stairs.

Richard stops and turns, looking down at Thomas.

‘I’ll come with you. To London. If you still want me to, of course.’ Thomas stammers, feeling the back of his neck flush.

A smile blooms on Richard’s face as he comes back down the stairs, ‘of course I still want you to come.’ 

Thomas lets out a relieved breath, a happy smile spreading across his face. Richard steps closer as he looks up the stairs, then back at Thomas before kissing him. It’s only a brief kiss, despite seeing everyone either leave or go upstairs to bed, they can’t risk it. They can’t risk being caught, even if Thomas’s sexuality is an open secret, it’s still a crime.

‘Goodnight Thomas.’ Richard murmurs, flashing him a smile as he heads back up the stairs.

‘Goodnight Richard.’ Thomas says softly, watching Richard disappear from view, feeling that they both made the right decisions that night.

\---

Thomas has it all planned out. After breakfast he’ll go down to the Carson’s cottage and ask Mr. Carson if he can keep an eye on the Abbey for the night. Then he’ll return, pack his suitcase, make sure everything is ship shape and bristol fashion, discreetly tell Miss. Baxter that he’s going to London with Richard, and then leave just before lunch. Richard will leave first, he doesn’t want to fan the flames of rumour.

What could possibly go wrong?

In Thomas’s life? Anything.

\---

So of course something does go wrong.

A fuse has blown (not to mention Mrs. Patmore!) in the kitchen and tripped the entire house, meaning rather than sitting down for breakfast of scrambled eggs and tea (made thanks to Daisy and the aga) Thomas is on the phone to an electrician, asking, well, more like demanding, they come out as soon as possible to fix the problem.

They agree. Problem solved.

But no sooner is Thomas rising up out of his seat in order to take his place at the head of the servants hall table does the phone ring. He glances at the clock, it’s not even eight o'clock. It best not be the electrician calling back to cancel or they’ll be hell to pay.

He snatches up the phone and answers it rather curtly.

‘Ah Barrow, good you’re up.’

He’d recognise that cut-glass voice anywhere. Even on the telephone.

‘Good morning my Lady.’ He replies, less brisk, more formally.

‘I’m calling to let you know that we’re coming back this evening, not tomorrow morning.’ Lady Mary informs him and his whole body deflates.

‘I know you were all given the day off, but this can’t be changed. We’ll be back at five. If you could please tell Mrs. Patmore that we’ll only need a light dinner at seven, nothing too fancy. Also you’ll need to tell Mr. Bates and Anna, and Mrs. Hughes of course. I think that’s all. Oh and can you make sure the cars are at the station for five.’

‘Of course my Lady.’ Thomas grits and then she’s gone.

He slumps into his chair. 

There goes London.

\---

‘Is everything alright?’ Miss. Baxter enquires as Thomas storms out of the butler’s pantry, face like thunder.

‘No, it bloody well isn’t.’ He snaps and Miss. Baxter recoils, eyes wide at his outburst.

He sighs, ‘sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. It’s not your fault.’ 

‘Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong. I might be able to help.’ Miss. Baxter offers gently.

‘I don’t think anyone can help.’ He grumbles, hearing laughter coming from the servants hall - unaware people are having a merry old time, while he’s full of anguish .

Thomas goes back into the pantry and Miss. Baxter follows, closing the door behind her.

‘Other than waiting on the electrician, I was meant to be going to London this afternoon. With Mr. Ellis.’ He mumbles, feeling a blush form high on his cheekbones.

‘Meant?’ 

‘I can’t go now can I?’ He huffs and her brows furrow.

‘Why not? You said there’s an electrician coming, so why can’t you go?’

‘Because they’re coming back today,’ He barks, practically falling into the chair behind the desk, ‘Lady Mary just called. They’re coming back today, not tomorrow. So there goes my trip to London.’ He sighs, sadly and Miss. Baxter’s heart goes out to him.

‘I’m so sorry Thomas.’

‘Yeah, well I’ve now got to tell everyone that their day off is cancelled. And that includes Mrs. Hughes and the Bates’, and I can’t say I’m looking forward to that.’

Miss. Baxter does not begrudge him that, having to tell Mrs. Hughes that she’s got to come into work, she’d sooner walk over hot coals.

As she goes to leave, she pauses at the unopened door, ‘I really am sorry. Hopefully you’ll find some time together before he goes.’ 

And with that she’s gone, out of the door and leaving Thomas brooding at his desk.

\---

There’s a knock on the door and Thomas looks up, finding Richard standing there. 

‘What are you doing hiding away in here? Your breakfast will go cold.’ Richard smiles as he steps into the room, but stops when Thomas sighs heavily.

‘Close the door.’ Thomas says and Richard does as he’s asked before he takes a seat.

‘I’m now not able to come with you to London. The family are returning early from Brancaster. They’ll be back later. Sorry.’ Thomas explains sadly, his whole person slumped with resignation. 

‘Oh.’ 

‘I was really looking forward to our little impromptu night away.’ Thomas gives a sad smile, hands clasped together on his desk.

‘As was I. But not to worry. They’ll be another time.’ Richard replies, far more enthusiastic than Thomas. 

‘You think?’

‘Of course. You just have to have faith, Mr. Barrow.’ Richard smiles, a mix of knowing and optimistic.

Thomas gives a non-commital grunt rather than say that experience has not given him much room for faith.

‘Look I’ll get out of your way-’

‘You’re leaving?’ Thomas yelps, springing to his feet.

‘I’m sure you’ve got work you need to get on with, but don’t worry I’m not off to London just yet. I can delay my return until tomorrow morning.’ Richard states, rising to his feet, a smirk tugging at his lips.

‘Right. Okay.’ Thomas flusters, feeling himself starting to sweat.

‘How about I see you in the Grantham Arms later? We can have a drink. Surely Earl Grantham can afford you an hour or two this evening once he’s back?’ Richard says, giving Thomas what can only be described as a lascivious look.

‘I’ll ask.’

‘Great. Well, hopefully I’ll see you later, around nine-thirty?’ Richard winks before disappearing out of the door, leaving Thomas standing there and staring at the space Richard had just vacated.

\---

Thomas decides he needs to bite the bullet and get on with it, so he rises from his chair and heads out of the pantry and into the servants hall, ready to be the bringer of bad news.

Richard is still there, sat with Andy and Albert, an easy smile on his handsome face as he sips his tea. It would have been rude for him to just disappear during breakfast, and Thomas finds that with Richard’s presence he’s feeling more confident in shattering people’s plans.

‘I’ve got an announcement.’ 

All eyes turn to him as he stands there at the head of the table.

‘The family are coming back from Brancaster Castle today, not tomorrow.’

‘Since when?’ Mrs. Patmore snaps - she, Daisy and the scullery maid Molly are eating with everyone else while there’s no power.

‘Since Lady Mary rang to let me know.’ Thomas states firmly, not liking to be questioned (he never has).

‘So I guess that means our day off is cancelled?’ Andy guesses correctly.

‘I’m afraid so. So we all need to do what we’d planned on doing tomorrow, today. I’ll walk down to inform Mrs. Hughes and Mr. and Mrs. Bates.’

‘I don’t resent you that.’ Mrs. Patmore mutters with a shake of her head.

‘Thank you Mrs. Patmore,’ Thomas gives her a pointed look, before carrying on, ‘Lady Mary said that they require a light dinner at seven.’

‘A light dinner of what? Hot? Cold? Three courses? Four? Two? One? And how am I meant to cook it?’ Mrs. Patmore rambles, going off on a tangent.

‘I’m sure you can manage something Mrs. Patmore.’ Thomas says and she huffs.

‘Of course I will, as long as this blasted electricity is sorted out, and soon. I know it’s not long since we worked by candle light but those were the days before all these new fangled appliances.’ The cook complains.

‘The electrician has been called and will be here by nine Mrs. Patmore.’ Thomas grits with a Carson-esque stare he hopes shuts her up because he’s starting to lose his cool over her constant complaining and commentary.

Nothing else is said so Thomas sits down and a fresh plate of eggs and a mug of tea are soon placed in front of him.

‘Thank you Daisy.’

\---

Thomas follows Richard out into the courtyard, pulling the door close behind him.

‘Well I hope to see you again soon.’ Richard smiles as he places his hat on his head.

‘Yes, I certainly hope so too.’ Thomas replies with his own hopeful smile.

‘Thank you Mr. Barrow.’

‘You’re welcome Mr. Ellis.’

‘Goodbye Mr. Barrow.’ Richard says, all for show, hopefully.

‘Goodbye Mr. Ellis.’ Thomas answers, offering his hand and Richard gives a crooked smile as he shakes it firmly.

‘See you later hopefully.’ Richard whispers, the words barely audible and his mouth hardly moving.

Thomas gives a small single nod, looking the other man dead in the eyes before Richard lets go of his hand, turns and leaves.

Thomas takes a deep breath, he really does hope he can get away later.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts 🙂


	7. Chapter 7

\---

No-one had looked particularly pleased when Thomas informed them that their day off had been cancelled - Mrs. Patmore especially given the current lack of electricity in the kitchen - but they all hunkered down and got on with the jobs they were expecting to be doing the next day.

Thomas had traipsed off through the slush of snow and freezing winds down to the cottages to inform Mrs. Hughes and Mr. & Mrs. Bates that their services would be required sooner than expected. Mr. Carson did not object to his wife’s cancelled day off, instead he intoned about how important it is that the family are respected and obeyed and how no-one, absolutely no-one, is to question any of their decisions. Thomas had to bite his tongue.

The only real problem was little Johnny Bates.

And in fact that hadn’t been much of a problem when he landed in Thomas’s arms while Anna set to work making sure all of Lady Mary’s clothes are in perfect fashion.

Thomas took the two year old for a walk around the library, even answering the garbled ramblings of the toddler in the process, a feeling of calm settling on him. Coming to the understanding that he can’t change anything now. Everything is in motion and he’s just got to deal with it.

‘There you are.’ Anna says as she steps into the library, finding Thomas and her son looking out of the window, smiling contently.

Thomas turns to face her as she walks into the room, a warm, affectionate smile on her lips.

‘You’re so good with him.’

‘They don’t answer back.’ Thomas replies dryly with a slight quirk of his eyebrow and Anna lets out a soft snort.

‘Not to you maybe. But this little one sure likes to answer back when it comes to bath time or bedtime, don’t you my sweet boy.’ Anna coos, scooping her son from Thomas’s arms and pressing a tender kiss to the top of Johnny’s head.

‘Takes after his father then?’ Thomas teases and Anna giggles, which causes Johnny to giggle, which results in Thomas smiling happily at mother and child.

‘Oi, you. That’s my husband you’re talking about.’ She mock slaps his arm.

‘Really? I’d never have guessed.’ Thomas shoots back.

The three of them stay there, looking out of the window at the snowy landscape.

‘I’m happy for you, you know.’ Thomas breaks the silence and Anna looks up at him, slight confusion on her face.

‘That you’ve got everything you want.’ He elaborates, glancing at her.

‘Haven’t you? Got everything you want?’ She asks carefully, intrigued to know if Mr. Ellis is everything that Mr. Barrow wants, and more to the point if he’s actually got him.

‘I’ll never get everything I want.’ He answers quietly, longingly, eyes fixed on the horizon.

‘I’m sorry Thomas. Genuinely I am.’ Anna murmurs, placing a gentle hand on his arm, giving it a supportive squeeze.

‘I know.’ He whispers, tears burning the backs of his eyes as she gives him a sad smile before leaving him alone.

\---

‘Has Mr. Ellis left already?’ Anna enquires in the boot room where she and Miss. Baxter are polishing shoes.

Miss. Baxter looks over at the door, before shuffling a little closer to the other lady’s maid, voice in a low tone, ‘officially yes. But unofficially he’s staying the night in the village at the Grantham Arms.’

‘Why? Why not just stay here rather than pay good money on a room?’ Anna puzzles.

‘Discretion I imagine. He’s invited Mr. Barrow for a drink. But that’s only if his Lordship allows him to go.’ Miss. Baxter explains and Anna sits up a little straighter, mind ticking with thoughts.

\---

Anna is picking Lady Mary’s travelling clothes up off the bed, while her mistress sits at her vanity, rubbing hand cream into her ivory skin.

‘I hope no-one was too disappointed about the cancellation.’ She says.

‘There were a few long faces by all accounts. None more so than Mr. Barrow’s.’ Anna replies, calculating but innocent.

‘Oh why? Prey tell.’

‘I shouldn’t really. It’s not my place to.’

‘You wouldn’t have mentioned him if you didn’t want to say something about him. Remember I know you Anna Bates.’ Lady Mary smirks and Anna smiles back.

‘Alright, if you insist-’

‘I do. Go on.’

‘Well Mr. Barrow had planned to go to London this morning and stay overnight.’ Anna confesses lowly, as if she’s worried Thomas is going to spring out from behind the curtain.

‘On his own? How adventurous of him.’ Lady Mary seems impressed.

‘Not on his own, no. He was going with a friend. A _male_ friend.’ Anna whispers, stepping closer to the other woman.

‘Would that be the same friend he asked about staying here?’

Anna nods, a small smile on her lips.

‘Well, well. Mr. Barrow has a companion.’ Lady Mary chirps, before adding more seriously, ‘so that’s why Barrow has a face like thunder. His sweetheart’s gone away.’

‘Not exactly.’

‘No? Then what exactly?’

Anna sighs, she really shouldn’t have said anything in the first place.

‘He’s staying in the village tonight before returning to London tomorrow. He’s asked Mr. Barrow for a drink, but only with his Lordship’s approval of course.’

‘Of course he’ll allow Barrow to go.’

‘I do hope so.’

‘Well if he doesn’t then I will.’ Lady Mary says clearly and confidently and Anna smiles happily, she’s not meddling, just helping.

\---

Lady Grantham retired to bed almost as soon as dinner had finished, leaving the Earl, Lady Mary, Mr. Talbot and Mr. Branson having after dinner drinks in the drawing room.

‘Thank you Barrow.’ Lord Grantham says as he takes the tumbler of whiskey from the silver tray.

Thomas gives a deferential nod and Lady Mary sits there, eyes on the butler, waiting for him to ask if he can meet his friend.

Thomas coughs to clear his throat and Lord Grantham looks up expectantly.

‘Excuse me my Lord, I was wondering if it would be possible for me to-,’ Thomas falters, swallowing heavily, all eyes on him, ‘-to have the rest of the evening off?’

‘Oh, of course. Of course. Yes, you go and have the evening to yourself, or what’s left of it.’ Lord Grantham replies as Lady Mary bites down her smirk.

‘Thank you your Lordship.’

‘You don’t have to worry about us Barrow, we can look after ourselves just this once.’ Lady Mary smirks and Thomas has to resist smiling at her comment.

‘Of course my Lady.’ Thomas gives a nod before looking around the room, feeling the back of his neck heat up under the gaze of his employers before he hurries out.

He needs to get changed out of his uniform, speak to Mrs. Hughes and get to the village. He glances at the clock on his way, it’s just gone nine, he’s got time, but he doesn’t want to waste a single minute.

\---

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Unbeta'd.
> 
> I own none of the characters or anything like that, just my silly little imagination.


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